You can't cheat death

  

A certain man was visited by Mr death.

Death knocked at his door.

When he opened the door he found death standing at the door.

"It is time to go" Death told the man after consulting the list in his hand.

"But.." replied the man "I can't die I have not yet fulfilled my plans."

"You see according to my list you are number one. And there are 100 more I need to visit this year" replied death uncompromising.

After much pleading to no avail the man succumbed.

"In that case" said the man "let me have my last meal before you take me."

Knowing that it was his last meal a very sumptuous meal was prepared and his visitor Mr. Death was invited to partake.

While they were eating. The man put sleeping pills in the drink of Mr death causing him to fall asleep.

While Mr death was sleeping the man quickly removed his name from being number one on the list and put it on number hundred.

When death woke up. He told the man that because he has been so generous to feed him instead of taking him as the first person on the list he will take number hundred.

So being the person on number one hundred the man died.

The moral lesson is that if death comes just accept because you can't cheat it.

 

Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, "What do you think you are doing?"

"What if you have an accident?"

The priests say, "Don't worry, my son. God is with us."

The policeman says, "In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to ride on a motorcycle

 

 

Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary.

One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter.

The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room.

Finally one of them said, "I can't take this, I'm going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!"

The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face.

"What happened?" asked the waiting car occupant.

The other partner announced, "They were twins and mine died

 

 

 

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all die and go to Heaven. St. Peter's there, and when they get to the gate, St. Peter informs them that there will be a test to get into Heaven: they each have to answer one question.

To the teacher, he says, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the Iceberg and sunk with all its passengers?"

The teacher thinks for a sec, and then replies, "That would have been the Titanic, right?".

St. Peter lets him through the gate. St. Peter turns to the Garbage man, and, figuring that Heaven doesn't REALLY need all the stink that this guy would bring into heaven, decides to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

The garbage man guesses: "1228"

"That happens to be right; go ahead." St. Peter turns to the Lawyer: "Name them." 

3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".

The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.

The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I still love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.

The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter.

Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.

He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".