A Harsh Dose of Reality

 

THE NICE MAN BECAME IMPATIENT

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman 
next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so 
she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this 
nice man next to us."

Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, 
honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."

A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up 
your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!



BIOLOGY EXAM:

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk. The question 
was worth 70 points or none at all.

One student, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.

2) It provides immunity against several diseases.

3) It is always the right temperature.

4) It is inexpensive.

5 ) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

6) It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the
bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the 
ground where the cat can't get it.

He got an A.



WISE ITALIAN GRANDFATHER

An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his 
bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me.  I wan' you to take-a my chrome 
plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex 
watch instead?"

"You liss ina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna 
have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of 
bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with 
another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 
'Times up!' "?


A RIDE IN THE TAXI

A woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It
was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.

"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.

The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him 
the Truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"

His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes".

After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what 
happens to them?"

"She said" "Most of them become taxi drivers