Wonderfully described definitions

Definition of cigarette
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
 
 

definition of marriage
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her masters.



definition of lecture
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.


Definition of conference
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present


Definition of compromise
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece


Definition of TEARS
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!




definition of dictionary
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage




definition of conference room
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on


definition of ecstasy
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling you have never felt before


definition of classic
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise,
but never read



definition of smile
SMILE:
A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!




definition of office
OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life




definition of yawn
YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open their mouth




definition of etc
ETC:
A sign to make others believe
that you know more than
you actually do




definition of committee
COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do
nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together




definition of experience
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes




definition of atom bomb
ATOMBOMB:
An invention to bring an end
to all inventions




definition of philosopher
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself
during life, to be spoken of
when dead


definition of diplomat
DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you
to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip




definition of opportunist
OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath
if he accidentally falls into a river




definition of optimist
OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling
from EIFFELTOWER
says in midway
"SEEI AM NOT INJURED YET!"


definition of pessimist
PESSIMIST:
A person who says that
O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY


definition of miser
MISER:
A person who lives poor
so that he can die RICH!





definition of father
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature



definition of criminal
CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other,
unless he gets caught




definition of boss
BOSS:
Someone who is early
when you are late
and late when you are early




definition of politician
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand
before elections and your Confidence
Later




definition of doctor
DOCTOR:
A person who kills
your ills by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!