New Business/Stock Market Terms

New Business/Stock Market Terms

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance and the wife gets no jewellery.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD AND POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected after you have made the investment.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks and to understand the meaning of "Disappearing Money".

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling your shares to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought some stocks at $240 per share that now is worth $20!

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use. By 2014 windfall profits would be known as "Art of stealing without customer's knowledge"

MONEY LAUNDERING -What the Government does with your money after you pay your taxes.                                                                           Like OBAMACARE in U.S. and P.M's /C.M's Relief Funds in India.
TC's class is over friends. Do not ask for any clarifications.
Welcome to the new business world.