20140820

नहीं भैया मेरे पति मेरे साथ हैं..

तेरा घमंड तो चार दीन का हे पगली,

हमारी बादसाही तो खानदानी है।


अग़र मोहब्बत हे,तो शक़ कैसा..!
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. अगर नहीं है, तो हक्क़ कैसा..!!

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माना कि तेरे शहर में ग़रीब कम होंगे ,,

अगर बिकी तेरी दोस्ती तो पहले ख़रीददार हम होंगे ….

तुझे ख़बर न होगी तेरी क़ीमत पर ,,

पर तुझे पाकर सबसे अमीर हम होंगे……….!!

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A Toyota or a BMW, the Road remains the same for all.

You Travel Economy Class or Executive, your Destination doesn't change.

A Titan, Rado or a Rolex, the Time is the same for everyone.

There is nothing wrong in dreaming or leading a luxurious life;

What needs to be taken care of is ,not to let the NEED to become a GREED.

Because need is always met but greed is never fulfilled! 

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"Wife : Truth or dare?

Husband : Truth.

She: Do i look fat in this new dress? 

He : This is cheating, i asked for truth not for dare." 

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अजब जज्बा है जवानी मैं इश्क़ करने का,

उम्र जीने की है ओर शौक मरने का.........

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उसने हमे एक और दर्द दिया तो हमें याद आया.....



के दुआओं में हमने ही तो उसके सारे दर्द मांगे थे...

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 तुने तो रुला के रख दिया ए-जिन्दगी, 

जा कर पूछ मेरी माँ से कितने लाडले थे हम…

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 How true is this,



Real reason why whatsapp is valued at 19 billion dollars.... 
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Whatsapp cracked the biggest problem of humanity - 

" ladies baat bhi kar le aur awaaz bhi na ho "

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Ek tha Tiger - # Salman Khan - #200 crores

# Chennai Express - # Srk - #250 crores

# Dhoom 3 - # Aamir khan  #300 crores

# Suzanne - No movie - #400 crores


उसे लगता हे उसकी चालाकियाँ .........

मुझे समझ नही आती,

.मैं बड़ी खामोशी से देखता हूँ उसे अपनी...

नज़रों से गिरते हुए.....

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सब कुछ हासिल नहीं होता 

ज़िन्दगी में यहाँ

किसी का "काश" 

तो किसी का "अगर" छूट ही जाता है.

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जिस उम्र में हमारे दांत टुटा करते थे,


उस उम्र में आज बच्चो के दिल टूट जाते हे

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अजनबी थे वो ही अच्छे थे...

इस जान.. पहचान.. ने कमबख्त फासले बड़ा दिये

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कुछ रिश्तों के नाम नहीं होते,
कुछ रिश्ते नाम के ही होते हैं ..

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"Short lines with a million dollar meaning :-

The life that you are living now, Is also a dream of millions......!!


So, Appreciate it !!

 एक आदमी ने सौ बार खूनदान करके
'रिकार्ड बनाया।


मगर........



ब्लड बैंक वालो ने यह कहते हुए
उसकी 'पत्नी को पुरस्कार दिया:-



"आपने नही पिया, तभी तो हमने लिया।

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Company Sales Officer tension mai tha..



Distributor : kya hua ??



Sales Officer: mai 6 months se tour pe tha,, wife pregnant ho gyi "



Distributor : beta ab pta chala, bina order k maal aata hai to kaisa lagta hai...

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Man reading newspaper..



News:
"Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"



Man comments:
Idiot !!
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping ....
hhehehehehehe

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This is CLASSIC...Girls read n ENJOY!!
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. 

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! 
Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. 

TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.

Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get
MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!

You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! 

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your
mind? Don't forget to salt them. 

You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"



The wife stared at him with anger.



"What the HELL IS WRONG with you? 
You think I DON'T KNOW how to fry a couple of eggs?" 



The husband calmly replied, 
"I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!"

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Zyada Gussa tab aata hai jab Life ki har taraf se lagi padi ho,



Aur fir koi aakar ye bol de, Sahi me yaar 
Zindagi k asli maze to tu le raha hai

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Agar Chai Acchi Bani Ho Toh Usse English Mein Kya Kahenge?? 



Santa - Property

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Santa shadi k agle din biwi ko peet raha tha.



Logo ne pucha to wo bola isne meri chai me taaviz milaya hai 
muje bas me karne k liye.



Biwi rote hue gusse se boli-
O tea bag tha kutte ....

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इंसान भी कितना अनोखा जीव है

पहले भिखारी बन कर,भगवान से हाथ जोड़ कर मांगता है!

फिर गर्व से उसी भगवान को दान देकर,

नीचे अपना नाम लिखा कर
अपनी श्रेष्ठता सिद्ध करता है!!!


बुराई से सिर्फ वो ही लड़ा है 

जो सच की नीव पे खड़ा है 

याद करेगा ये दोस्त मेरा भी 

दिलजले से जो पाला पड़ा है

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उसका वादा भी बडा अजीब था जिंदगी भर साथ निभाने का; 

मैंने भी ये नहीं पूछा कि मुहब्बत में साथ दोगे या यादों में ...


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उसी से पूछ लो उसके इश्क की कीमत,

हम तो बस भरोसे पे बिक गए...

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काश कोई आईना ऐसा भी होता जो पीठ दिखा पाता ,

आखिर किसके कितने खंजर लगे ये तो जान पाता .

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उनके हाथ में मेंहदी लगाने का हमें यह फायदा हुआ

कि रात भर हम उनके चेहरे से जुल्फें हटाते रहे .........

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Swamiji, I doubt my husband has been cheating on me.... 

I have doubt on one woman.... what to do?
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Take your husband to that woman's doorstep...

and see if his wifi connects automatically. 

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NEVER LIE TO A SMART WOMAN

Man on phone: Honey I've been asked to go fishing with my boss for 2 days...30- 31st. 
This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. 
So, could you please pack enough clothes for 2 days, 
set out my rod fishing box. 
We're leaving from office I'll swing by the house to pick my things.
 Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas !


The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said

The husband came home on 1st jan even a little tired but looking good.

The wife welcomed him asked if he caught any fish ?

He said "Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill a few Swordfish. But why didn't u pack my blue silk pajamas ?"

You'll love the answer..!!


She says,
"I did.. They're in your fishing box!!!!!!!!

Game over....

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A doctor addressing a large audience in Oxford
Opening the floor with questions can be disastrous


"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, 
years ago Red meat is full of steroids and dye.

Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. 
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans-fat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by germs in our drinking water.

But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, 
or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, 
and softly said, "Wedding Cake".

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प्लेटफार्म पर ढेर सारा सामान लिए खड़ी एक औरत से कुली ने पूछा , 

मैडम कुली चाहिए ?

औरत ने बड़ी विनम्रता के साथ जबाब दिया,

नहीं भैया मेरे पति मेरे साथ हैं...