20140630

A collection of post election jokes


Tide and Rin have competition from Congress. Itni zabardast dhulai hui hai. 

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There is a great Rahul Gandhi wave in the country... Everyone is waving him good bye. 

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Congress: "Rahul-baba, jahan bhi ho, ghar aa jao. Mata aur behen dono pareshan hai. Koi kuchh nahi kahega; sari jimmedari Manmohan-uncle ne li hain. Jaldi aa jao, bas." 

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Sonia and Rahul should not resign. Otherwise, Congress may recover. 

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Manmohan Singh's wife goes to Sonia Gandhi's house... To get the remote control back. 

"Why  is  the mute button worn out?" asks Mrs Singh. 

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Manmohan Singh went to the vegetable market, the morning following his resignation. 

Manmohan: Gobi kitne ki hai? 

Vendor: Bas kar, rulayega kya, pagle? Free hai, tere liye. Pehli baar aawaaz suni hai teri! 

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Manmohan Singh begins work on his autobiography titled, "5 Mistakes of My Life: 2G, 3G, Sonia G, Rahul G, and Rahul G ke Jija G". 

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Congress ki samasya ye hai ki jo yuva josh Rahul Gandhi me hona chahiye woh Digvijay Singh me hai. 

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Ab to Congress ke bhi achche din aane wale hain. 

ND Tiwari ke baad, Digvijay Singh bhabhi laane wale hain. 

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Girlfriend: Jaanu, aaj milte hain. 

Boyfriend: Kahan milna hai? 

Girlfriend: Koi sunsaan si jagah, jahan koi na ho. 

Boyfriend: Thik hai, fir ek ghante me Congress Head Office me milte hain. 

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Arvind Kejriwal got more slaps than seats! 

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Even Tata Nano has more seats than the Aam Admi Party! 

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Arvind Kejriwal says that Aam Janata has also become corrupt. 

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Modi: How many seats did you get? 

Nitish: 2 seats. 

Modi: I also got 2 seats. One from Vadodara and one from Varanasi. What are you going to do next? 

Nitish: Resign as CM of my state. 

Modi: Me too! LOL. 

Nitish: Phone rakh tu, saale. 

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Modi: Aao maje lete hai. 

Amit Shah: Woh kaise, bhai? 

Modi: Mayawati ko phone lagao aur poochho samarthan dengi? 

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A Gujju will do anything for a US VISA, even if that means becoming PM. 

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Obama: Congrats, Mr. Modi, for the victory. Now, let's talk about the VISA problem. 

Modi: There is no problem. You can apply for it online. We'll issue it. 

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Abhi parents ko sochna padega ki bacche ko chai ki dukan pe bhej ke Modi banana hai ya IIT me bhej ke Kejriwal.