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The 21st Century According To 19th And 20th Century France 


 Starting around 1899, Jean-Marc Côté and a few other visionary French artists began to speculate what dramatic turns the world would take over the course of the next century. They carefully crafted a series of drawings to be displayed at the World Exhibition in Paris, and later these same images would become postcards and thoughtful inserts in cigarette and cigar boxes.
A sampling of what we can gather from these drawings is that French people of the early 1900s were convinced that we’d be spending a good portion of our future lives either airborne or underwater. Walking the Earth was so twentieth century, after all…
No wonder everyone thinks croquet is boring; we’ve all been doing it wrong! Here, the French playfully suggest taking the beloved game below sea level, proving: A.) That it would be much more challenging, and B.) That the artists have obviously never tried to go swimming in a dress.
A search party of underwater divers (no doubt formed to search for wayward croquet balls) is depicted here combing the ocean floor on seahorses. Giant seahorses. From the Future. These divers will never be heard from again, as they will shortly discover the second “seahorse” from the right is actually an alien about to swallow their mortal souls.
In a slightly Pink Floyd-esque take on the future of the educational system, students are somehow able to absorb information via books haphazardly tossed into a meat grinder with wires arbitrarily attached to it. Or, in a more sinister (but plausible) scenario, the hardened headmaster is harnessing the children’s brain waves to help provide renewable energy for what appears to be his surprisingly lucrative book-grinding business.
Congratulations, twentieth century France! You’ve invented the double-decker tour bus. Now, if we could only find a source of renewable energy to power those…

 French Future Air Battle
At the time, the French thought military ships carrying heavy artillery kept aloft by huge zeppelins were a fabulous idea. To be fair, this would seem like a much better idea, given they weren’t privy to how that whole Hindenburg thing would turn out in 1937.
This image toys with the automation of an entire orchestra, but the real hero is the poor conductor, who has now found himself in charge of a slew of robotic instruments that will more than likely turn against him when he finally caves in and buys a clunky first generation iPod – one year later, in 2001.
In what appears to be a gross over-complication of the egg-hatching process, we can assume that the French were unwilling to wait the normal 21-day incubation period because they farmed in wooden clogs. Who wants to stand around in wooden clogs for three weeks? Maybe they should have just invented Easy-Spirits® and called it a day.
Again, we take our future escapades underwater, and explore the idea of fishing for birds (birding?) while confused (but relieved) fish look on. Can’t we just continue to shoot the birds clean out of the sky like we did in the good ole 1900s? The takeaway of this potential hobby is that in the year 2000 we are going to have WAY too much free time, and we got really good deals on these scuba suits, and DARN IT WE ARE GOING TO USE THEM!
UPDATE: While we’re no longer really into killing birds clean out of the sky; we might accidentally shoot the messenger. The anguished look on this poor postal worker’s face as he teeters upon this jangly-looking contraption, just barely airborne, speaks volumes. He doesn’t even realize the first email was sent out 29 years prior, in 1971.

In an act that surely releases barbers from any personal liability whatsoever, a giant, blood-thirsty machine RUN by a barber is now what’s in charge of swiping razor blades across your face. Thankfully, this never came to fruition, as four short years after this was drawn, Gillette patented the double-edged safety razor.
Just a heads up, if in the year 2000 your home kitchen didn’t resemble a meth lab, you were clearly stuck living in the past. You probably don’t even have an ecstatic, fire-shooting talking toaster, or whatever that drug-induced contraption on the counter is. You can tell by the kid’s expression that he’s pondering exactly what the portly “chef” is REALLY cooking.
By 1942, helicopters were in mass production. Someone tell the police in this drawing that they just need to let this guy in the Flash costume go for now, and plan to catch up to him in a few years when they have the benefits of an engine. (Unless the chase is simply a ploy to get acknowledgement for their fabulous ankle flair.)
It’s a little unclear what the “Stirrup Cup” actually does or why it exists, but as long as it allows men to fly around on flimsy deathtraps and simultaneously get drunk on red wine, the year 2000 says politely: “Um, NO.”
Of all these examples, why did “Air Cabs” not happen? Air Cabs could take our current century to the next level. That is, as long as there’s no “Stirrup Cups” on board.
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